PJ Hairston

You gotta wonder how much PJ Hairston received in benefits for UNC to not even try to get him reinstated.  And you gotta wonder where the Hairston's attorney went to college after releasing an official statement from the family with horrible use of the English language and spelling errors.  "Collegate?"

NBA Christmas on ESPN

Do you really want Snoop Dogg, who's well known for smoking weed, advertising for the Christmas NBA games, whose players are also well known for smoking weed?  Someone should have thought this through better.

#2

I know when it's coming.  Maybe a little discomfort in the tummy area.  At the end stages, a little sweat down the buttcrack.  That usually means it's time to go.

Molly woke me up the other day panting.  I thought she might want something to drink so I let her out of my bedroom and took her to her water bowl.  That wasn't the case.  It was kind of odd that she was up at 4:30 in the morning, well before we usually get up.  So I coaxed her back under the covers and rubbed her until we both fell back asleep.

Poor girl.  When we got up and I took her outside she took the biggest Hershey Squit I've ever seen her do.  I looked at the Pick N Save bag in my hand and knew it was no match for the mound of chocolate pudding she left in my neighbor's front yard.  There was nothing for me to do but kick some snow over the pile of Jello pudding and walk on.

And to think, after six years of living together, I've never been given the "I gotta shit" signal from my dog.

And I just described her poop with three food-like substances.  Enjoy.

Eyeballing

If that's not eyeballing someone I don't know what is.

Naked Neighbor

I was walking my dog around the block last week like usual before I got ready for work.  Three quarters of the way around I saw my neighbor's dog in his front yard without a leash on.  This isn't unusual, but usually he's at least outside with his dog and not just letting it run free.  So I looked up to his house expecting to see him standing outside his front door with a cup of coffee.  It was pretty cold out so I wasn't surprised to see him standing inside his house, standing in the doorway.  I raised my hand to waive as he and I are pretty chummy.  But instead of waiving back, he lowered his hand and turned sideways.

Yes, my neighbor was butt ass naked.  I laughed all the way back to my house.

Aaron Rodgers Shoulder

I guess I pulled on my penis too much last night, my forearm was too sore to do pullups and back exercises today.

I hope Aaron Rodgers' should is feeling better than my forearm.

12-pack

So I was talking with my new neighbor today, real nice guy and all. A little chatty but a nice guy overall.  But then he told me a story about him sitting in his back yard.

Neighbor:  Hear that?  (beer can opening)  That's 12-pack.

My neighbor nicknamed me 12-pack.

What greater nickname!

And he soooooo underestimated my abilities.

Two Layers

On a cool 48º day, Molly has two layers on.  She's still probably doggie swearing at me for making her sit outside with me.

New Job Post

It's coming, soon, the post about my new job.  I promise.

NCIS Miami

Does LL Cool J have a Barry Bonds-like head or is it just me?

Gym Smile

The gym I go to has three levels.  You walk into the middle level to get your locker and towel.  Then you have to go downstairs to the locker room to get changed into your workout clothes.  The actual gym with all the equipment is on the top floor.  Now mind you, this is at a local university so they have students working at the front desk.  They also have one seated at a desk in the aerobic/weight machine section of the gym.

The one in the gym today was a girl I had seen working at the front desk before.  When she was at the front desk I had asked for a locker and a towel she asked if I had a preference as to which locker I wanted.  I said no, as usual, to which she responded, "I like you."  I might have taken this too literally.  

As I left the gym today she looked up from her homework and I smiled before I walked out the door.  Going down the stairs to the locker room I felt this little feeling like, "Yeah, I'm the man, smiling at college chicks half my age!"  I went to the sink to wash my face and tried to replicate the smile that I was so proud of.

Creepiest looking smirk/smile I've ever seen.  No wonder why she didn't smile back.

Rainy Sunday of Football

Roommate:  Do we really have to watch, what, like six hours of football, and two hours of pre-game commentary?

Me:  Uh, yeah?

Possum, In My Back Yard!

Bathroom

Well, it took a while, but my bathroom is finally done.  Besides all the tile work, and custom vanity, my favorite part is the shower head that stands at 6'10", six inches above my head.  No more ducking to wash my hair.

Friday the 13th, Clock

I swear this afternoon it felt like my boss paid the IT guys to slow the network clock down, as in "You'll be working here FOREVER!!!  Ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!"

New Grill

Damn this new grill gets hot, 500º on the lowest setting.

Tits Up

Maybe I should have sensored this photo before posting...

30 30-packs

I thought they were on sale for $1 off.  Turns out they weren't.  They had them all loaded up and at the front of the store.  I joked, "Oh, the Natural Light is on sale, could I have that instead?"  The guy didn't laugh.  Oh well, won't have to go back for beer for a while.

And yes, that's my living room.

Syria

Can I send the Syrian gov an invoice for 1.5% of my mutual funds for supposedly using chemical weapons?  Shows you where my morals are, my cash-o-la.

Heat Wave

It's Ribeye Tuesday and the grill already registers 100º before we even turned it on.  It's m-f-ing hot out.