CD/Stereo

I've had issues with my neighbors lately, mainly their loud music and pot smoking. So I decided I might be able to fight back, certainly not on the illegal drug use side of it.

I had the Renter pick up an RCA cabel for $5 online, good price assuming it would have cost me at least $4 at Radio Shack.

But in my vacation mode, which means drinking at 1:00 every day, when I asked her for help I wasn't much help. I needed to move the receiver in order t get the 1999 200-disk CD player in the entertainment cabinet, which was a tight squeeze. After getting yelled at and loosing my helper I managed to wedge everything in, ugly as it was.

I'll have to re-route all the wires tomorrow.

But the first random CD that came on was Stevie Ray, classic shit. I turned it up, the guitar stroking at my heart. I knew it was a little loud but hey, first time testing out the stereo and the two 10" subs weren't even turned on.

I'll have to ask the nice neighbor if he'll be around tomorrow, possibly re-route the wires and turn the subs on. That would be six 10" subs, 2 independantly powered, echowing in my basement.

Let's just say REM shakes the house. Ice Cube's "Check Yo Self" might get to the foundation.

10 Days Off

This, my friends, is how I prepare for ten straight days off from work. Seven 30-packs on the floor, two more in the fridge, and ten pounds of ribs (on sale for $1.99/lb). I'm sure I'll be beered and porked out when it's all said and done. At least this week it's supposed to be 80 and sunny. Can't ask for much better weather in Wisconsin.

Dan Gilbert Owes Me 9.5 Minutes Of My Life Back

The NBA Lottery was May 17th. With over a month to interview and work out all the draft prospects, Dan Gilbert and the Cavs management made me wait nine and a half minutes to find out who they were going to select with the number one overall pick. Assholes.

The invoice for my time is in the mail.

Dumpster Diving

I had a chicken burrito at work today. I'm always carefull with the garbage, putting the tray food side up in the garbage so the cleaning lady doesn't have to change the bag.

A co-worker swung by during lunch.

"So what do you do during lunch since you don't go anywhere?"

"I catch up on stuff, nothing major."

"Is that my time off request?", looking at a page on my desk.

"Yep." As I crushed the paper and threw it in the garbage.

"Don't you need that?"

Pulling it out of the garbage, with a hunk of chickenattached from the burrito, "No, I record the hours off your timesheet, not this," as I ate the piece of chicken that was stuck tot the sheet.

The co-worker freaked out, much to my pleasure. She left my office shortly thereafter.

Mission accomplished.

2nd "Outdoor Man Cave" Comment

Some guy riding his bike with his dog practically fell off his bike as he stopped on the sidewalk.

"I don't mean to creep you out or anything but that's pretty sweet! What's the score?"

"8 to 1, not looking good."

"Again, that's pretty slick. Take care."

I think I'm giving the Heinecken guy a run for his money.

Love The Setup

9:00 on Monday I was getting a little hungry. I had a sandwich at work at 4:00 but after lifting weights and eight beers I had to make a trip to the gas station for a pizza.

After pre-heating the oven and putting the pizza in I stepped outside to find a guy in a minivan on the street eyeing up my house.

"I like the setup."

Yeah bitches, I know how to roll.

If only I could get rid of my renting neighbors who are loud and obnoxious. The Renter is on their case, calling the authorities and the property owner. The owner is 83 so I'd hope, dark as it may sound, that the house might be put up for sale eventually.

Only time will tell.

Budget Analysis

I was looking at my budget spreadsheet and what bills were going to be paid from my 6/24 paycheck. Analyzing the budget, if you will. More like anal-yzing; I have every bill scheduled till the end of 2013. I'm pretty anal when it comes to money. Probably the reason why salesmen drool over my credit rating when I apply for those 0% finance deals at retail stores (which I also keep at good amount of attention on in order to avoid any finance charges). But looking at my 6/24 paycheck, I noticed there were two payments listed for the exact amount, $524. I dug around on all my credit card websites and sure enough, I had listed the same payment twice. Grinning ear to ear I deleted the one, swapped $100 over to the "spend" line and moved the rest to the "savings" line. That $100 will come in handy as I have the week off and will most certainly start drinking at 1:00 every day.

David Patterson's Penis Photo

Bad aim when you can't see.

Throw Him The Heater!

I have a friend who's not 100% there mentally. He's a good person and I'd do pretty much anything for him as he would for me. But he has his antics. If he has six beers in him he gets a little loose. Watching sports with him takes patience.

He'll get confused with who scores during football games. Third and long might actually be first down.

But the Brewers, that's a different story.

My friend has a strong opinion about the Brewers. Chants of "Go Brew Crew!" and "Come on, Fielder!" echo in my back yard.

But the best is when the Brewer's closer is on the mound. "Throw him the heater!" is the standard call.

I had two friends over on Wednesday. The Brewers were tied in the ninth inning. We joked about my friend yelling the heater pitch request.

I took the puppy out. I got a phone call when I was outside, in the middle of picking up poop.

The voicemail: Throw him the heater!

We all got on our phones to send him a text. I asked all ten of my friends to send him a text, refferencing the heater. The end result: his phone blew up with texts. And the Brewers won.

I'll pick him up a 30-pack of High Life this weekend.

Happy Hour! Happy Hour!

Appearantly my "happy hour, happy hour" chant translates to "drive straight home" in Korean. Home? It's always happy hour there! Sheesh.

Great Golf Ball Whacker Guy

I went to thbe driving range with the Renter on Friday. Sounded fun at the time. Two days later I can't take the covers off me in the morning. Of course I swing like Tiger Woods, they make 9 irons to go 130, 3 irons to go 230, so swing hard every time, right?

If you want to be in pain for two days after.

I swear, 90 lb dumbbells over my chest, no problem, but a little white ball and a club in my hand...

Promises

This post has sence been edited/deleted per the Renter's request/demand

Week Off, Schedule

10:00 Wake up.

10:05 Make coffee.

12:00 Lift weights.

12:45 Take shower.

1:00 Put meat on the grill.

2:00 Afternoon is open.

I just needed a week off from work. Granted, I decided on this a month ago and so far the weather hasn't cooperated but still, my schedule has led to some pretty relaxing days. I still have to go in to work for an hour tomorrow to make sure the payroll went through correctly but other than that I'm good to go.

Overestimating My Abilities

I've been pricing a new kitchen sink and faucet for a while now. The white plastic sink I had was kind of an eye sore. If I left dishes in the sink it took a lot of scrubbing to get food/dish marks off. And my faucet leaked a little, probably just needed a new washer or something but it was getting old, too.

Sunday was a cold day, 50 something and windy. After pissing off the Renter on Friday, not talking all Saturday, I put theolive branch out there and asked her if she wanted to go to a place on Lincoln Ave. I knew they had $2 cheeseburgers and free pool. I didn't know I'd be so rusty at pool.

After splitting the first four games the Renter laid out a bet. I don't even remember what I would have won had I won the 5th game but it doesn't matter. I lost.

Headed to Home Depot.

I could have found a new sink and faucet for cheaper but the one I bought almost lined up perfectly with the drains I currently had. I figured, even though not experienced with plumming of any kind, I'd be able to hook the new one up without any outside help.

(By the way, this plumming thing reminded me, I once dated a girl who "starred" in "Pumping Plumpers 3". Initials TL. Almost lost my watch in that vag, with three fingers in the back end.)

Back to plumming...

Boy was I wrong.

Fairly winded, at least two sheets, I cleared out the cabinet under the sink and took a gander. I had no clue what I was getting into. I got as far as turning the water lines off.

I had to call a friend of a friend to come over on Tuesday to "help" me put the new sink in. Somehow, while having friends over, I managed to discourage anyone from entering the house so we didn't have any distractions putting the new sink in. It went fairly well, two hours with only one trip to the store but we got it in (up to the wrist, fuck, wrong plumming story again). I spotted the guy $60 for two hours of work, most of it lying on his back in my kitchen. There was no way I could have done it by myself.

So now I know, don't try indoor home improvement projects without professional help and don't make wagers on poolgames, even against a girl.

Lunch/Dinner

Renter: What do you want to do do for lunch?

I had taken the day off, I was open.

Renter: How about Indian, Korean?

No, I'm a little partial to bar food, beers, sports on TVs.

We went to a bar with a happy hour special, then followed a friend to a bar by his house. But then, I let the devils in. I was a little hungry, and the Renter took me to a place that I didn't want to go to, no TVs, no bar.

Sitting at a restaurant without a beer and guys to talk to scares me.

Price Of Oil

Normally product pricing doesn't affect my budget too much. I don't really buy that much in mass quantities, except for beer, of course. When 30 packs of Milwaukee's Best went up $1 I complained but hey, it's still pretty cheap at $13.50.

The recent increase at the pump hasn't hurt me too much. I only drive 36 miles a week and even at 16 mpg I don't use that much. I should be griping about my home heating oil that went from $300 five years ago to $550 this year, but I took that hit without thinking about it too much. I did go online to compare the rates of different providers but they were all about the same price that I paid.

Today I went to buy oil for the Jeep. I've always bought Valvoline. It used to be $2.50 a quart. Last fall it was $4 and I ended up getting the O'Reilly brand because that was much, much cheaper. Now Valvoline is $6 and the O'Reilly oil is $3.50. Six quarts and a filter ended up costing me $25. You used to be able to take your car in for an oil change for less than $20 and not have to crawl underneath your car.

I've always changed the oil in my cars myself and will continue to do so. Again, since I don't put that many miles on, I think the cheap oil should be fine.

The guy at O'Reilly looked at me like I was crazy when I told him I only put on 2,000 miles a year and change my oil twice a year but if $25 keeps my car going strong I'll stick with it.

Big Guy, Small Dog

I was walking the puppy this morning, half awake and just trying to get my eyes to focus properly when a neighbor stopped me. My dog does draw a bit of attention. I prefer the 20-year-old girls who bend over to pet my puppy while showing their puppies than the older crowd that I usually run in to. But this woman was armed and ready, waiting for me.

Old, old lady: My husband said I have to give this to you.

She handed me a neatly folded piece of newspaper. It was an article about the Packer's AJ Hawk and his little dog.

Old, old lady: He said you and your dog look just as comical as AJ and his dog!

Thank God it was 8:00 am and my brain wasn't functioning yet or I would have asked what exactly she meant by that.

Where's Waldo?

On Wednesday I was looking at the TV in the living room. I noticed the Wii sensor had fallen from on top of the TV to behind it. The TV itself was a bit off kilter, too. I'm sure the Renter would know something about it.

Me: So, what happened to the TV?

Renter: You don't remember?

Me: Um...

I had started working on the Jeep at 10:00. I have two sets of tires for it, spiffy chrome rims for the summer, stock ones for the winter. I had just finished with the last one when a freind showed up at 11:00. That's when the first beer was opened.

Renter: You almost knocked over the TV on you're way to bed. You hit it and thanked God you didn't knock it over.

I fairly recall that. I wouldn't doubt the Renter's recollection.

All I remember was that it was a good long Sunday.

There might be a puppy hidden in that photo.

Dad's Wedding

I can't go to the wedding, the way you left mom, moved to Florida, I'd be lying if I said congrats. Feel like you bailed out on me. I'm sorry.

Right Turn, Clyde

Most people won't know this movie reference. Sad shame. As much as I dislike my Dad right now, he raised me well movie wise.

The Renter and I have a new coffee maker, programable. When we set it it makes coffee at 7:15 in the morning. Good shit.

Making a left hand turn, on a busy street, I say:

Me: Don't touch your co...

As I have to shift into second gear. Needless to say someone's fingers got pinched. I tried to give warning, but...