Simply the Best

I found this shirt at Old Navy for $8. If the distributors of Milwaukee's Best had witnessed the summer I had, four 30 packs purchased every Saturday morning at the grocery store on top of $1 can's at [super secret location] every Tuesday, well, I'm sure I'd have at least seven free shirts.

Jenn Sterger Not Cooperating

In the big business that is the NFL, with an aging hall of famer's reputation on the line, in his final season, is there any doubt that Jenn Sterger got paid off to not cooperate with this investigation? No doubt in my mind.

Hopefully, at the end of all this, Brett Favre at least gets a blow job for the million he probably shelled out.

All These Left (Leafed?)

Vacation Day Chores

Doesn't sound like much of a vacation but I always like to take two or three days off in the fall for house maintanence. 9:30 and I already have the leaves taken care of (till more fall). The rest of the day will be spent sanding the good old deck down in prep for the yearly staining/waterproofing. Ya'll have fun at work. I'm feeling like I've already accomplished something, must be time for a beer.

Tough Packer Loss

This is what happens after my beloved Green Bay Packers bungle away an easy win against a sub par opponent (and cost me $160 in the process).

There also may or may not have been a picture taken with a penis on my forehead. Don't think I can/want to post that on here.

Whistling

Whoever is whistling at the Phillies game can stop anytime now.

Making a Face

I looked somewhat like this on Monday while getting a flu shot.

Second Jersey Shore Post of the Week

Checking my hotmail account today (which one person asked me this week, "hotmail is still around?), and I saw an ad featurring "The Situation" from The Jersey Shore. Please, please don't tell me this yahoo is making money off this.

Snooki Roll

Chick should start hawking doughnuts for Hostess or something.

Vincent Jackson, Unethical.

"My agents and teams interested did everything to make it happen, but this organization stopped it. It feels unethical and I am disappointed."

Why not play out your contract, wouldn't that be ethical? WRs are such divas.

Please Don't Tell Me You Have Coke In There...

9/18, 19 Hour Day

For some odd reason I couldn't sleep for shit on Friday night. I was wide awake at 4:00 am. My friend Turner was sleeping on my couch and knowing that he usually wakes up at the crack of ass I let the puppy jump all over him. Oops, sorry Turner, but mission accomplished. I promptly opened my first beer much to the amazement of my friend.

We hit a place for breakfast and afterwards Turner went in to work. I stayed up playing online poker till the Badgers game started.

Somewhere in there the Renter took me to get a new toilet but exactly what time that happened I'm not sure.

Another friend came over and installed the toilet. My old one was giving me shit for months so I was more than happy to get the new one working (although it is rather tall, not sure if the Renter's feet reach the floor).

Later in the evening our group hit a neighborhood bar and stayed till it got too busy. We picked up "Hurt Locker" and stayed up till 11:00. There was no way I was going to last any longer.

Wish I would have kept track of how many beers I had. A "conservative" number for me would be two an hour but that's being really conservative. I don't think I could even limit myself to two an hour. Had to have been over 40.

Awesome day by anyone's standards.

Too Much of a Good Thing

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Land Rover Ad

"Buy a car, or buy a Land Rover."

Seriously, that's your ad? How about "Buy a Land Rover, or buy a house."

I buy 30 packs of beer for $12.49, my tires on my Jeep stick out past my fenders, and I have no problem putting rubber on the fender of a Land Rover. Bring it.

Some Jeans

This has to be the "loosest" definition of "some jeans" ever.

Aftermath

Free beer is indeed free beer, and if you partake in it you both pass out at 3:00 and miss the afternoon game (Packers game for me).

Life.

Is.

Grand.

Free Beer

Sunday, about 12:15, and since the Packers don't play till 3:15 I somehow managed to get the Renter to take me to a dive bar that was advertising free beer from 1-3. Sounds too good to be true. But hey, free beer? Worth checking out.

I did my chores for the day, mowed the lawn, washed/waxed the car, munched on the poon - yeah right.

12:15 am and I'm posting this shit? Must still be fucked up from Saturday.

Snot in Here!

The Renter and I now work at the same place (fuck) and carpool to work together (double fuck). Talk about seeing to much of a person, man. We alternate days driving, typically I'll do Monday and Wednesday and she does Tuesday and Thursday with alternating Fridays depending on who drove the previous Friday. When she drives I prefer to close my eyes as it gets a little scary. When I drive I purposely do shit to make her grab for the oh shit handles. At least I do it on purpose.

I drove this Friday. Three blocks from home I sneezed. It was a big one. I had snot all over my hands and even hanging out my nose. I don't have tissues or anything in my car so I just kind of sat there and looked at the Renter. She looked at me and scooted over a couple inches with a disgusted look. Me, I started laughing. I knew what was coming next.

I started to lick my palms. The Renter put her hand over her mouth. I made a little choking sound. The Renter wrenched and turned away. I made a lip smacking noise. The Renter puked out the window leaving streaks down the side of my car.

What the fuck?

Snot in my car. I made her walk the rest of the way.

Charles Woodson Extension

The Packers will have Woodson for five more years. Then we'll have a 38-year-old corner back. THAT sounds really appealing. Who's he going to cover, a 38-year-old Randy Moss? A 41-year-old T.O.? Rediculous.

FA's Message - :O

Me: Dude, is that you blowing me?

FA: He, he, lol!

I wonder about him sometimes.