Opening Day

The doorbell rang once. I rolled over, figured whoever it was would give up and leave.

The doorbell rang again. Seriously, what the fuck? Nobody rings my doorbell. Whoever this person was they weren’t leaving. I got up, threw some jeans on and went to the door as it rang a third time.

“What the…”

It was the FA. He and I always take off from work the first day of the NCAA tournament. After a good night of drinking on Wednesday I had completely forgotten about the games. I got up, showered, and the FA and I were off.

The day started off a little rough. I told you I had a good Wednesday night. Yeah, I was still feeling it. But the 25 ounce taps of Miller Lite were only $3.75 and you got an entry form to win a plasma TV. I needed to get as many entry forms in that I could.

Throughout the day the FA and I had some stupid little bets for dollars. Like which team would make the next three pointer. How tall our waitress was (5’0”). Who had the bigger penis (I won that one by a landslide with our waitress being the judge). Everything was going pretty well, including the beer.

Just before the Marquette game (1:30) we moved to a different bar. We met one of the FA’s friends who had secured a big table right by the TV. This place had $2 16 ounce taps of Lite. Five of those and some chicken wings later and I was done. The game wasn’t over yet, the FA was waiting for food, but you know me, when it’s time to go, it’s time to go. Hell, even my speech was starting to go. One of the guys there was leaving too and he gave me a ride home. I was out like a light as soon as my head hit the pillow. I didn’t even go out to my corner bar that night.

So far today all I’ve done is watch basketball and re-hydrate myself – all while never taking my hand off my penis. Yeah baby, it’s fucking awesome.